House Buying and Shoes in the Face

As 2014 lurches to a close, I am dragging myself towards the finish line of this house-buying thing. Excuse me, this condo-buying thing, which as we all know is an entirely other thing (I didn’t know that). To hear my lender talk, it’s a wonder anyone has ever bought a condo without a wheelbarrow full of cash. The Great Condo Conundrum is but one of the seemingly endless hurdles and obstacles between me and my goal.

When I launch into my lamentation about these challenges (for the record, mostly when someone has asked how it’s going), people typically respond with some (very well-intentioned) line about how that’s always the way it goes when buying a house. Yeah, of course. There’s always more paperwork to provide and the pain of getting an inspection and some hiccup or other. What I’m talking about is a series of ups and downs violent enough to make the most zen among us at least a little crazy. (I am not the most zen among us.) As my dad noted when delivering a piece of good news: “Your mom and I just thought we’d push you up the high side of the roller coaster again!”

lolcat-invisible-roller-coasterWeeeee. Because only cats drive internet traffic faster than gorgeous blondes.

My Realtor is my oldest friend in the world and go-to smart ass. She has conceded that my deal has come with more than the usual number of pains in the butt. Life is hard right now and she gets it and is completely on my side. Never one to suffer fools or excess bullshit, she summed it up: “This is all difficult enough without your serially getting a shoe in the face”, which I thought was pretty perfect.


There sure is weird stuff on the internet. But then, life itself is pretty darn weird.

Anywho, press on I shall. I have a closing date set on the near horizon, and a lot of details to tend before and after. I never thought I’d be doing this kind of thing on my own, but here we go.

You may as well know up front: I love me some Kelly Clarkson.

Happy New Year! 2015 has to be better than the steaming pile that was this year.


5 thoughts on “House Buying and Shoes in the Face

  1. I never knew that getting a loan for a condo was so much harder. What a pain in the butt! You really are a damn good writer, girl, and I am enjoying your posts!


  2. As the owner of a condo in North Carolina, I know what you mean. My best advice is this: do NOT – I repeat – NOT agree to serve on the condo association board. If you do a half-way decent job, you will be stuck there for life! Take it from one who knows who is also someone who has loved you your entire life!


    1. Aw, thanks, Kay! I appreciate your stopping by. Hope you can come down and see the place in person sometime. Duly noted re the board. I’ll try to keep my head down. I’m already PTO president! 🙂


  3. I’m so proud of you! I am excited to see where this adventure(?), ok, we’ll call it an adventure, takes you. And ditto on what Kay said. I went to a meeting once where they were looking for new board members and those currently on post looked at each person as they walked in the door with pleading, desperate, “I haven’t eaten in a week” eyes!


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